Moving on from an eating disorder. It’s not easy. It takes time. It feels impossible. But, certainly achievable. A year ago I didn’t believe it was true to move on from my eating disorder. I used to read blogs just like this, huff and puff, close my laptop and think ‘there’s no way I will ever recover, my bulimia will always be apart of me.’
Yes bulimia will always be apart of me, it dominated 6 years of my life. It’s part of my past and the person that I am now, however it’s not ‘mine.’ It’s been a year since I started my recovery seriously. From my personal experience, here’s my tips on what it’s like moving on from an eating disorder.
Expect to relapse
Cut the BS. You ARE going to relapse during your recovery. Some people will put you down, make you feel like you are failing and incapable of recovering. The best thing you can do, from experience, is tell someone, who you trust, about it. You will learn from it. The more you keep it a secret, bottle it inside, you are cuddling those motives of your eating disorder, making them feel at home once again. Be okay with relapse. Tell someone about your relapse. Note it down. It’s part of your recovery.
Journal your recovery
Get yourself a new journal and note Day 1 of being a bad ass inspiration. You are an inspiration. Conquering your fears and making a change to becoming a healthier, greater, stronger you is inspiring. Write down whatever is on your mind; the good, bad and ugly. I find writing down my thoughts therapeutic and a calming mechanism to help clear my head. If you find it easier to write things down rather than speaking to someone, dig deep and find the courage to let someone read your thoughts instead.
Be open to trying something new
I discovered my love for fitness whilst recovering from my eating disorder, particularly weight training. I felt stupid and weak but after my first induction to lifting weights I felt a smidgen better about myself. That small smidgen of self confidence grew and grew after each training session. Doing something that makes you feel great about yourself becomes addictive, you will want to do it more and more to better yourself. Mine was the gym. Yours can be something different. It comes down to confidence. I had little to none to begin with but putting yourself out of your comfort zone is liberating. The result will get your far along your recovery.
Relate to others
Having an eating disorder can make you feel like you are alone. I isolated myself into my own corner, that I created, because I didn’t think there was anybody else who would understand. Oh girl you was so wrong. There are others who you can relate to. Follow them on instagram, read blogs about recovery, watch videos, meet up, immerse yourself in conversation with someone that totally get’s it.
Never stop being proud of you
Not even for one day. I mean it. Every single day you are making a positive change to yourself, you should always remind yourself that. I’ll be honest, feeling proud of myself only became coherent months into my recovery. At first I didn’t feel like I had made enough change to feel proud. The second you feel like you are ready to commit to recover, be proud. The days where you messed up slightly, be proud. Telling someone about your recovery, be proud. Buckling up the courage to try something new, be proud. Conditioning your new habits, be proud. Never stop being proud of you.
I am using my platform to inspire, motivate, inform others to become healthier versions of themselves – both inside and out. I am choosing to do this by relating to my experience. If you have an eating disorder and need help please seek advice from a professional. You WILL seek the treatment that you deserve. B-eat is the UK’s eating disorder charity, I highly recommend speaking to them on their helpline 0800 801 0677.